SARDAR BAHADUR

 

 

SARDAR BAHADUR

         

In early 20^th century when the British decided to open the doors of officer rank for natives, they were quite apprehensive. They decided to employ only people from noble background and that too as Viceroy Commissioned Officers (VCO) i.e Subedars. Now, these were the Junior Commissioned Officers of British Indian Army and were in between the “Other Ranks” (sepoys) and Officers (Those days, King Commissioned Officers or KCO). The rank of JCO was and still is unique to the Armies in the subcontinent and was meant to bridge the gap between the Privates (Indian) and Officers (British) as there was a world of difference between them in terms of culture, language and civilization. Both didn’t understand each other. It was paradoxical that the sepoy who was willing to happily lay down his life for his officer could not bear the shadow of the officer to fall on his food or it would become contaminated and inedible. In such circumstances, the JCOwas an intermediary between the two and indispensable.

Generally, JCOs rose from the ranks due to their merit and loyalty. Those who excelled, in war were further bestowed upon with honorific titles like ‘Sardar Bahadur’ and awarded lease of land or ‘Jagir’. They were poorly educated but could be always trusted to know the pulse of the battalion. They were indispensable then and they remain indispensable today in the subcontinent.  Not much has changed in past 250 years and often we come across hilarious situations thanks to their limited formal education. Below, I quote 3 such amusing anecdotes I encountered.

 

1.    I was looking at the 6 feet thick impregnable stone walls of the ramparts of the Fort Saint George, Madras one December morning with admiration. This was the place where the foundations of the rule of the ‘John Company’ were laid by the likes of Robert Clive more than 250 years. The land was procured from the ruling Nayak of the almost extinct Vijaynagar empire. Beyond the walls was the Indian Ocean and on top of the once Governor of Madras’s mansion I could imagine the Union Jack fluttering in the sea breeze. In the distance one could see a number of merchant ships waiting for their turn to unload their cargo at the port. The British had made warehouses inside the fort to store various commodities they exported. Cotton garments were the major exports and ‘Black Town’ had developed around fort to house the textile workers and merchants.  Not much had changed over the past couple of centuries inside the fort though the city outside had grown a 1000 times to Chennai of today

Subedar Jeet Ram was close by. We had come to verify the ammunition in the magazine below us. I came out of my reverie and told him ‘Sahib, Aap jante ho, angrez ka raj India mei yahi se shuru hua thha. Kyonki Madras mei ye bandargaah banane ka scope thha. Uss samay Britania ki navy sabse mazboot thhi aur unke vyapari log bade kabil navik thhe ( The Indian British Empire started from this place. You know why? Because Madras was suitable for a great port and thus provided rapid transport for men and material. The British Navy was the strongest in world and their merchants most daring seafarers’)!

Not to be left behind, Jeet Sahab added ‘Haan  sahib. Aur Madras ki ek baat aur badi achhi hai. Yahan ka Airport bahut bada hai. Bahut International flights aati hain yahan. Issne bhi unko bahut madad ki hogi’ (Yes sir. And Madras had one more plus point with a big Airport connected internationally to help the British)!

 

2.    ‘What do the M and G stand for in your Nominal Roll’ Inquired Major Dalal, the Staff Officer in the famous Nathula Brigade of  East Sikkim where I had come with my Company of Army Mules for what we call ‘Advance Winter Stocking’ of the forward posts. I had been looking past him at the vast blue expanse of the most beautiful Batang chu lake through the large window behind him. The crystal clear waters were surrounded by lofty peaks which remained snow clad. Beyond them lurked the Dragon. If I turned my back I could see beyond the virgin meadows we called “Sunny Vale’, the majestic Kunchenjunga kissing heavens. I could make out few yaks grazing languidly in the meadows near the yak hut where lived their caretaker Dorje who had promised to gift me a Yak Hide as I had treated his pony the other day. I had plans to do meditation on the hide in the modified tin shed that was my abode for 6 months. 

‘Sir, it is the sex of the particular mule. M means Mare and G stands for Geld which means a castrated Male’ I replied.

‘Are you sure? Your JCO, Subedar Chottu Ram was here last week. He told me something different’ Said the Major.

‘Rest assured sir. What I tell you is correct. Anyway what did Chhotu sahib tell you’ I was curious.

‘He said M stood for male’ disclosed the SO.

‘In that case what did he tell you for G? I wondered aloud!

‘Gadhi’!!! blurted the SO before both of us exploded in laughter.

 

 3.    I was having a drink in our JCO Mess, celebrating promotion of one of our JCOs in XYZ Animal Transport Company. The bar man was busy pouring the standard 'Patiala Pegs' for the members. The Clerk JCO was the only one with Dansberg Beer, the excellent produce from the brewery of famous Bollywood star Danny Denzongpa. Danny was the other famous Sikkemese guy other tha Baichung Bhutia till then. Beyond him, the wall was adorned with chinese rifles collected as trophies from the 1962 Himalayan war. ‘Saheb Main Mess pahuch gaya aur mujhe receive karne koin nahi thha’ I complained.

 ‘Saab, maaf karna who ‘Tai Wale’ Mess Havaldar ne mujhe ‘Lay Down’ kar diya. ‘Tai Wala’ was the leit motif of Raghubir Saheb, our Senior JCO. He used to refer any third person as ‘Tai Wala’. Like – Tai Wale 2 chai le aa. ‘Arrey Tai Wale tu kal nahi agle mahine chhutti jayega’. ‘Usne mujhe kaha aap riding mei late ho gaye ho. Yoo aajkal bade ‘Fuck Up” kar raha hai’ He continued. I was surprised with his cheek. But as I watched him I realised he didn’t understand the meaning of ‘Fuck Up’ or for that matter ‘Let Down’.

I toyed with the staple drink of JCOs Mess, Old Monk Rum in my hand and commented ‘Saab aajkal apki English badi improve ho rahi hai’.

“Arrey sahib kuchh nahi. Yoo ‘Old Monk’ hai na, Din mei iss unit mei 3 English speakers (3 Officers) hain. Shaam 8 PM ke baad ‘Tai Wale’ 12 JCO aur English Qualified ho jaatey hain’ He disclosed. I wholeheartedly agreed with him. I also shared with them that Old Monk had been improving the taste of Coca Cola since past 200 years!

 ‘Saab, Kaisi banai hai Tai Wale ne Kaleji’? Asked Subedar Raghubir, Senior JCO,

Fried kaleji or goat liver was all time favourite snack in JCOs Mess of Indian Army. Whenever, mutton was issued to unit, all kaleji used to go to JCOs Mess.

I being a vet was actually averse to goat liver. I politely declined and told the JCOs ‘Saheb, body ka saara infection aur toxins blood ke jariye kaleji me laya jaata hai jehan usko clear kiya jaata hai. Waise bi iss area mei Liver Flukes bahut hain. Mai kaleji nahi khata’.

The inimitable Senior JCO brooded for a while, wiped his walrus mustaches with back of his hand and exclaimed ‘Saab Main bhi sochta raha yoo kya chakkar hai.Officer, JCO, Jawan mei maine note kiya hai, baki ke dono toh khoob gadi kheech levey hai, par ye Tai Wale JCOs pension jaane ke 10-12 saal mei hee ‘Run Out’ ho jaate hain! Main toh faisla kar liya hai abhi , Main ye Kalegi aagey se khaoo niga! Le ja Tai Wale iss plate ko yaha se abhi ke abhi. Aur kaleji na banana ab iss mess mei kabhi!