THE GREAT KASHMIRI TAMASHA

 


THE GREAT KASHMIRI TAMASHA

BY WARVET

 

‘These politicians can go to any lengeth to destabilise the precarious peace’ opined Happy the Kashmiri Sikh amongst us. Sikhs are a miniscule minority in Kashmir since the time of arrival of Guru Nanak in the valley when some natives adopted Sikhism. Their numbers grew slowly. They are well educated and good businessmen. Many also reside in villages and are agriculturists. In spite of some brutal attacks by militants, they have refused to quit and have stood their ground.


 Lengeth… lengeth   It kept hammering me till it finally hit me. Happy, the true Kashmiri meant ‘length’ – I realised. As I mentioned earlier, Kashmiri language I believe doesn’t have any half syllable leading to hilarious words like sikkis (six), Gentus (Gents) and wattus ep (Wattsapp). We were in the bar of the historic Maharaja Amar Singh Club in Munshi Bagh, Srinagar. The club has been the go to watering hole of who’s who of the city a century now. It was dedicated to people in 1933 by Maharaja Hari Singh and named after his father. It’s a building made in colonial style on right bank of the river Vitasta or Jhelum. The ante room is decorated with immense trophies of Hangul, leopard and beer heads staring at you. The club boasts of excellent billiards, squash, cricket, tennis facilities.  During the tumultuous militancy days, it was the only safe place for elite tipplers. Now there are N number of bars and liquor shops all over. Four are on the boulevard itself. Still the Club maintains its old world charm, exclusivity and the snobbery that’s the hallmark of all colonial vestiges of yore.

It was mid September when the summer is waning and the mornings bring mist over the Dal. I was nursing my Glenfiddich; Happy, the host had insisted it was the best. Assembly elections were scheduled to begin in less than two weeks. The political parties had woken from their 4 year slumber and had plunged headlong in “The Great Indian Tamasha”. Abdullahs of the NC, Muftis of the PDP, myriad Congressi, variety of ex separatists, separatists and little known BJP guys had suddenly appeared like proverbial mushrooms during rain throwing their respective hats in the ring. A Battle Royale was building up slowly but surely.

I looked around. There was a family of Sikhs at bar with their guests who were visiting them from outside. One table was occupied by a group of Kashmiri lawyers. Another had a group of J&K police officers. A cacophony of hindi, English, Punjabi and Kashmiri was in the air.

‘After 4 years of peace and tranquillity, politikkus (sic) is back with a bang’! announced Happy.’ BJP has released Engineer Rasheed on bail’!

Really!! We all jumped. Rasheed is the separatist booked under stringent NIA for anti national activities and is incarcerated since 2019. He defeated from jail, the NC supremo Omar Abdullah in recent Loksabha elections from Baramulla by a margin of 2 lakh votes. Unbelievable but politics can make strange bedfellows!!

‘BJP ko aisa mat ((nahi) karna chahiye thha’ continued Happy.

In the background, I could hear the Iranian borrowed song from film Animal ‘Jamaal Jamalek Jamaloo Jamal Kudu wafting in my ears. It was being sung by a chorus of Kashmiri women in their sweet high pitched voice. On way to the Bar as I had entered the colonial high pillared verandah  I could make out congregation of ladies in a room for Ladies Sangeet. It was beginning of marriage season in Kashmir.

‘NC and PDP are corrupt. So is the congress. We have no hope from them. Nepotism rules the roost in both. Omar is in fray from Ganderbal and Badgam, 2 seats – I don’t know maybe Rahul has advised him. I today saw both sons of Omar canvassing. Iltija, daughter of Mehbooba too is making her debut. They will promise the moon but after winning they will disappear. That has been the Kashmir story till now’ lamented Tariq.

‘BJP has been able to maintain peace for past 4 years. Tourism is booming, businesses flourishing, schools functioning. Is there any hope for BJP’? I interjected.

‘Col saab, it will take a long time for BJP to become even a marginal player here’ Interjected Shaukat, the Wizard. He had kept quiet till then and had been listening to us nincompoops.  ‘Although they have their presence now, but grass root organisation is lacking. The peace is here but Kashmir is a wounded society. It’s been suffering since ages. There is lack of faith in the centre. The way Delhi has reneged on promises made since accession and interfered by dismissing democratically elected governments, jailed leaders including Sher-e-Kashmir Sheikh Abdullah and installed puppets as PM or CM, its very difficult for a National party to get majority in whole state; sorry UT’.

Now, I hold the Wizard in great esteem as he is well educated responsible citizen from an old Kashmiri family who was a senior beauraucrat before retiring. He is a storehouse of Kashmir history, culture and customs.

‘Sir, there were promises made to many people which were broken in larger National interest in due course. Privy purses were abolished. Hyderabad was annexed. Sikkim was taken over. All moved on. But why Kashmir keeps festering’? I had asked.

The wizard was looking intently into his Old Monk. He took a swig and with a faraway look remarked ‘There are three reasons – Distrust in Union Government, Religion and Proximity to Pakistan’. And he finished his drink in a single swig – we used to call “Bottoms Up” in our youth. In his trademark style that endears him so much to me he had summarised the whole situation. It was left to the audience to now decipher it by thinking over. We all mulled quietly. Still I could hear the sweet Iranian song wafting in from ground floor. It was kind of adding to the intoxication.

‘I hear lot of independents including ex militants, OGWs, hardliners besides neo leaders have been co-opted by BJP and are filing nominations to split the votes. Omar Abdullah is scared. That’s why he has filed nominations from two seats. He is still licking his wounds from Loksabha elections he lost to Engineer Rashid’ It was Tariq.

‘In case BJP wins majority of Jammu seats, new parties like those of Sajjad Lone, Altaf Bukhari etc may lend support. Mota bhai can always win over independents too. I believe delimitation and revision of electoral rolls will help BJP. Also reservations to Paharis ,and Scheduled castes, registration of hindu migrants of PoJK and state subject to valmikis and Gurkhas in Jammu will add to their tally’ Said Happy.

‘Don’t you think, with restoration of state government, things will again move southward’ I wondered.

‘It’s not likely’ brooded the wizard’. ‘People have tasted peace for past 4 years. They want children to study. No one wants to go back to days of 'Calenders' issued by Hurriyat for bandhs and stone pelting. And central govt has been very clever in making us a UT and recently they went a step ahead and bestowed most of the power upon LG. Our CM will be like Kejriwal. LG will control police and beauraucracy. We were given vast autonomy when we joined the union. Slowly it was chipped at. Now we will be with least power amongst all states – if I may call it a state! Who is responsible? Our leadership or National leadership, ourselves or simply destiny? One thing I would say, the beauraucracy is worse than politicians. The other day I complained against LAWDA (Lake and Waterways Development Authority) for the rotting Dal lake. They threatened me with FIR! Even hinted they will ship me to Agra like those UAPA detainees! They have no fear of God. Begum is worried. She has forbade me from commenting anything on Social Media. There’s no Freedom of Expression’!

I noticed Happy and Tariq concentrating on the excellent Mutton ribs and speciality Trout from the Dagwan river of Dachhigam. I excused myself and took a stroll to investigate the Iranian song still floating in my ears. I crossed a group of excited young Kashmiri girls in their finery with henna designs on palms who had just come giggling out of the sangeet hall. I was surprised as I finally made out the song being sung with much gusto – It was an old forgotten number from Amitabh Bachhan’s movie ‘Mard’ of 80s.

‘Sun Rubiya tumse pyaar ho gaya,

Pyaar ho gaya, kya karein.

Su ne ko ye tarasta thha Dil chal jaldi se shadi karein.

Tu mera Tangewala; Main teri Tangewali’!!

For some time I was frozen. I had not heard the song for ages. And in the melodious voice of these Kashmiri women it appeared so exotically sweet!! I saw the manager coming towards me. I wondered if I was in a wrong place. ’Sir, you can’t carry your drink out of the bar’ he pointed out.

Umm I had simply no idea. Even though dozens of liquor shops have opened up in the city, the social restrictions are still in place!

‘Where from are you’ He asked. I looked at his name on the tab on his chest – It said ‘Mushtaq Ahmed’.

‘I am from Delhi, a tourist, guest of Happy in the bar’.

‘Everyone in the bar is ‘Happy’. He grinned at his joke.’By the Way, I am Mushtaq. my wife teaches in the ‘Army Public School’ in Badami Bagh Cantt too. He offered his hand to shake. 



I would be damned! You can take the soldier out of the Army but not the Army out of the soldier! He had guessed my identity after all. I smiled, shook his hand and went up the stairs with the wall mounted beasts staring me in the back to join the Gang.





Photo - Second by me. First from internet







Comments

Anonymous said…
This time a lot of new faces and combinations be there.Jammu will lead for sure
This comment has been removed by the author.
Great mix of describing the Amar Singh Club which I last went to in 1985, the current politics and mood in the Valley. Wonderful read.
Tiwash said…
Articulation of the Blog with an Eye opener info is rivaling..
Anonymous said…
Wish whatever happens, happens for the best
Jaipaul Chauhan said…
'Politics is far more complicated than physics'. Very well written sir.
Anonymous said…
So true,only a person who has severed in the valley will understand the real mindset and dynamics of kashmir and it's people. Very well written articles Vikas....always a pleasure reading your blogs..
Vikas Thakur said…
Sir people like you can fully understand and live this blog!!
Awesome narrative on socio- political atmosphere and views representing cross section of educated, well versed elites. The might of author's pen is highly expressive and speculative about the vision of echo system. An interesting read making inroads into the changing scenario for betterment in heaven on earth. My compliments to the esteemed author.
Amod said…
A great narrative....subtle humour and an incisive political analysis...
Rahul Dubey said…
Sir, your blog beautifully captures the essence of political drama in Kashmir, blending local color with personal reflections . The vivid descriptions of Srinagar, the Maharaja Amar Singh Club, and the intricacies of Kashmir's political climate, intertwined with the casual yet insightful conversation, evoke the complexity of the region. As someone who's experienced Kashmiri hospitality firsthand, the narrative resonates deeply, especially the juxtaposition of timeless cultural elements with contemporary political realities. A truly engaging and reflective piece and only one which can be practically narrated by one who has served in the valley!
Chandan Rathore said…
Excellent read
PK said…
An interesting and timely narrative as we go into the first phase of polling today. Loved it Vikas 🤗👍
Avay Shukla said…
These elections are a farce and of no consequence. The delimitation, rigging of voters' lists and conferment of additional powers on the LG will ensure that, no matter who wins, the state will continue to be ruled by the Delhi duo. It's a PR exercise. But i like the way you have blended the club culture with the politics! Makes for a good read.

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